He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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