She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
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Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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