When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize