Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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