the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
