We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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