Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
