Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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