if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
