Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
