Buhtt sex?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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