Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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