The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
