At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
