Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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