can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
