i jhust puked up my retainher.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
