i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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