Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
