HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
