girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
