I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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