Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
