I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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