Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just google imaged poop.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
