Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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