So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ketchup is God's man juice
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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