No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
