I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
