he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
