Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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