She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
