So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
