nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
