How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
