Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
