i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
