Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
