puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
