My room smells like vodka and shame
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
