Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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