And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
