I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
