Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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