what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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