Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
