After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
