do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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