yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize