Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
