I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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