Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
