If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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