Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
