I need help removing her.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize