I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
