have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
