Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My hand turned me down
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
