You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
