Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
