Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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