I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
