Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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