After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
